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Twenty-Two Teachings

I was inspired to film a YouTube video on the 22 lessons I have learn through my 22 years of life for my birthday. So here’s what’s in the YouTube video.

1. You don’t need to win. If people are acting a fool, that’s not an excuse to join the circus.

2. Set boundaries and adhere to them. Boundaries are an alarm system. You can only recognize lines that have been crossed when you have those lines in place.

3. Go for it. You may not conquer it all, but you will not limit yourself.

4. Dare to imagine. Be captive to your own imagination. Aspire to reach great heights.

5. Seek Knowledge. Education is an individual pursuit. Research all that you have an interest in.

6. Commit the same amount of energy, love and care that you have reserved for others to yourself.

7. Feel pain, anger, jealousy and sorrow. Emotions are not an act of evil, it’s okay to be human.

8. Speak positively about yourself. Proclaim your own beauty, intelligence and excellence. Wait for no one’s permission.

10. Commit to healing. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Recognise what hurt you and seek medicine. See a therapist, talk, run.

9. Let go, don’t allow history to bind you to those who don’t serve you anymore.

11. Care for others. Choose good, push for communal good. Imagine with them and make sure you can be counted amongst those who have ensured their communities success.

12. Start Over. Don’t be afraid to start again.

13. Resist the limitations placed upon your life. Refuse whatever they say you can’t do as a person of your identity.

14. Commit to creating friendships. You are a social being. It’s only natural to want to satiate this basic need. You want community and you want to belong, at least be thorough in your search and commit.

15. Expand your worldview. Seek to understand and believe the experiences of everyone.

16.Listen to yourself. Be friends with quietness and allow self dialogue to occur. You need to discover yourself over and over again.

17. Serve your body. Be kind to it, offer it pleasure, keep it away from harm. Be gentle with it.

18. Rest. Do not be bound to the capitalist culture of production. You don’t earn rest, you rest because your body requires it.

19.Be reckless. Do something that scares you often.

20. Don’t compare yourself. Your situation doesn’t need to be unique. We don’t know why life plays out the way it does sometimes, just be content.

21. Allow yourself to change your mind. Changing your mind does not invalidate yesterday’s truth. Don’t be trapped into serving the egos of others and yourself. If you feel differently act differently.

22. Applaud yourself. You are very deserving of celebration. Continue to rejoice your existence daily, surviving is enough reason for applause.


YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

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nightmares are dreams too

What have you done now that you’ve killed yourself? Was the momentary reprieve of casting your body into exhaustion worth it? Have you no sense to see the continuous loop of your painful existence? Is your mind too weak to tell how it perishes you. What’s the purpose of attempting to save what is made to perish? Save dust that shall return to dust? Ash to ash?

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psychedelic truth

True cowardice causes me to conjure up strength. I choose to stew in my own pain and applaud myself because greener pastures always carry a brown haze. The mist of the unknown steams up my rose specs. So here I am standing in the field of my own torment.

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ARISE AGAIN

Tell the forgotten stones to rise again

Remember the power that courses through them

These words are my blood sacrifice

Spilled in chant to call upon

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the crisis of counting in a pandemic

I don’t really know how many days of the lockdown I have gone through, don’t know how many of them I have left because I focus my attention on counting other things. Things like how many clouds are in the sky today, how many deep breaths I can take in a minute, how many A’s are in this paragraph and many other things I can count. And I don’t know why I count these things given that I don’t feel much anxiety over the uncertainty shrouding this lockdown because I consider myself well acquainted with it. I imagine a less evolved version of myself would have felt an unsettling tension rising in their belly, panicked and ballooned into a frenzy because control had slipped from her hands but I can’t seem to get myself to that place. Over the years I have accepted that all my plans could easily be ruined by some grand catastrophe and this time, just as I got into the swing of things it happened again. I wasn’t shocked by it and I don’t feel the slightest bit deterred. If I feel anything it’s a sense of impending doom. I worry about my grandmothers, the lady who comes over to help us with laundry, the poor, the homeless and more groups that I count daily. Each dusk I add to the tally that I never really count, of days that they have survived and each dawn I feel the tally reset itself back to zero because another day is another chance to die and it’s never really quite the time for death.

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Prologue

Indulge me once again as I return to a place I have begun to miss. This time like I have fibbed many a time I intent to stay because too much impresses on my heart that I must divulge. The dark has left me too burdened and thus my best interest demands I offload. Take this as a prologue, the beginning of a new chapter in the midst of a sombre novel. Skip if you may but if you stay, understand this.

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Retreat

Undeserving infant calls upon it’s prodigal future to retreat to the depths it’s soul belongs. Scolds the foolishness of hope that light’s rotten treasures beguil. Wondering if wilful ignorance the mind infects until reason can keep it no company. Too blinded by light’s cunning, too transfixed, too naive, too much to see the impending doom.

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DESERT

No one tells you that the desert follows you. That your throat will always feel parched and anxiety will be your shroud. That you will always be misplaced tufts of grass attempting to break through the hot, sandy earth as if you don’t know that you’ll dry.
Dry and die in your pursuit of things that don’t exist.

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WHERE’S THE GOOD?

Where’s the good in the promise of torture

In the fire Lakes invoked by the preacher

Where do you get the strength to believe in the perfection

Of a deity whose cause brings infection

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Hello there – here’s my life update.

The excuse is that I’ve been busy, too consumed by life. The reality is I have enjoyed putting until tomorrow the things that I should have been doing yesterday. Or maybe I felt there was too much on my plate. But here it goes:

  • December 27th 2017 I started another blog to help me put my thoughts about my existence as a poor black immigrant woman.
  • Started a Facebook page for my other blog on the 3rd of May.
  • Hit a 1 year milestone at my back breaking job.
  • And somewhere there I forgot how to write
  • However my mental health has improved drastically.

*~*

Her majesty